From uncertainty to humble confidence

Whatever a pastor’s wife was supposed to be, Sophy felt she was not. She wasn’t sure how to be a mentor. She disliked criticism, didn’t like to be disappointed and hated conflict. Socializing was difficult for her. 

To top it all off, the women of her church had begun to withdraw from her. They believed – because she is the pastor’s wife and the headmistress of a school – that she saw herself as too good for them. 

She felt sad because usually in African culture, church members refer to their pastor’s wife as “mother.” No one was calling Sophy “mother.” 

Being a pastor’s wife is a people-kind of job. Yet Sophy found it hard to trust people. She wanted to support her husband, but if she couldn’t reach the women of their church, how supportive could she be?  

When she learned about this program for African women in leadership, Stepping Up to Her Place, it seemed Sophy had found the perfect solution. She would study the leadership modules they offered and learn how to capture the hearts of her ladies.  

Sophy learned how to study God’s word. She found the Bible to be a manual rich in leadership skills. 

One of the program modules that affected her the most was Leading by My Spiritual Gifts. She learned a lot during the section titled Being an Impactful Leader. Most helpful was 

• grasping that she has strengths and weaknesses 

• accepting that things will not always be as she wants them to be 

• acknowledging that a great leader is both courageous and selfless; the example of Esther in the Bible showed Sophy a woman who was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the people of God (Esther 4:14)  

Stepping Up to Her Place helped Sophy realize that impactful leadership required her to reach out to the women first so they could feel comfortable with her.  

Sophy now has confidence that whatever might be required of her in the church — facilitating a Bible study, preaching or leading women — she can do it. As she puts her learning into practice, she’s finding a more receptive audience. They see that she loves them.  

“This makes me feel appreciated by our people. I believe that now these people think that I deserve to be a spiritual mother to them. And I feel a great responsibility for them.” 

A beautiful bit of evidence of change for Sophy with her church friends is this: the people have started to call her “mother.”